Sunday 10 January 2010

So that's that then.

Christmas in England-where were the Christmas lights? Where were the houses with the 18 ft inflatable Santa lit up on the roof? Christmas appeared to be credit-crunched.

This didn't dampen the citizens of merry England's spirits and everyone had a gay old time. Thank you everyone for your hospitality (we have bigger bellies to prove it).


In the weeks leading up to the Christmas break, I think I was starting to go a little insane.







Not full 'gaga', you understand, but definitely reality was beginning to become a little distorted. What was real, what was important, what you really should be concerned about-it'd all started to get a bit, well, fudged. And I missed people. I mean really started missing them which only started to kick in those final few weeks before the holiday. I wanted to go home.







It is very difficult to explain (and often when you try, people think you are either plain weird or just bloody ungrateful as you are in an enjoyable job in the sun whilst they are often fed up in England) but living as an ex-pat can be quite difficult. You are in a country which isn't yours and you can't claim it to be (even if you love it) because you're only there temporarily. You are always battling at being understood, because of a language and cultural barrier. Yesterday, I found out that to eat with my fork is rude. I must eat with a spoon. I didn't realise that for the last 6 months, J and I looked like savages when out to eat! Finally, you live in a very, very, very small world.







When we were in England, we had family, friends that we'd met together, separately and at a variety of different work places. You had acquaintences you could meet down the pub and really good mates you could share you heart with. These special people in your life are all very different and do different things. In Thailand, our world is each other and the teachers we work with. We have met and are friends with some of the nicest people we could ever have met, but it can get very claustrophobic seeing the same faces, having the same conversations day in-day out.







Hence, why I started to go mad. After 3 weeks back in Blighty, both of us getting flu and living out of (my new and rather snazzy) travel bag, I can see that tiny things that at home I would have been able to shrug off or laugh about had been stressing me out. You blow things out of proportion because you lose perspective. A bit.







Anyway, after seeing all our friends and family, I felt calmed and happy but ultimately realised that I did not want to come back to England. Well, not yet.







I might have been suffering a little cabin fever but, actually, I remembered why I'd got so excited about Bangkok when we arrived with its noise and its vibrancy and why I'd been so desperate to leave England in the first place.







Don't get me wrong, and not to sound like some nationalist nutter, but I do still love England. I was made patently aware of this fact this Christmas. We have free healthcare, free education and support for those who cannot (or will not) support themselves. England is, despite the difficulties, a good country. That is why London is full of Australians and why most people who are born there don't leave.







But, life is easier and happier here in Thailand. Yes, you are far from home (missing your family and friends) but the sun and our job means we can actually have free time and have fun. Real fun rather than trying to wedge 'forced fun' in from Friday night to Sunday that we did when working in Wednesbury and Selly Oak-and that was only if we weren't too tired.







Therefore, we've come back home (yes, Thailand for now is definitely home) and embracing our life. In fact, I'm writing this in a bit of a fuzzy state after we stayed out till after 4am with friends who, as I said, are very good people.







Now all J and I have to do is remove the 'Christmas insulation' we put on in just a few weeks at home before we can contemplate flashing the flesh on the beach.







Thailand-sanuk maak.

3 comments:

  1. Interesting post Denise. It's good that you have returned to Thailand with recharged relish for the months ahead.
    Regarding your comment "everyone had a gay old time", I wish to stress that nothing of that nature happened at The Peacock at Owler Bar!

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  2. I can second that.

    However, Denise is aware of your preferences. She did warn me to stay away from the Mixed Grill- especially 'the sausage'.

    Unfortunately, I didn't heed her warning and paid the price...











    ...indegestion.

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