Being the photographer means you're missing off ALL the photos...

It has been a rather long half-term. After a very interesting and eventful 10 weeks (99% of it amazing; the other 1% taken up with dealing with the clinically insane and professional brown-nosers), it really was time for a well-earned rest. Whilst the rest of our colleagues set off for week long trips to Koh Tao, Koh Samui and Krabi to bask in the sun and drink cocktails, we got the flat cleaned, changed the bedding and got very excited about staying in Bangkok. My aunty Jennifer and her best friend Sharon were coming to stay.

Just before leaving the UK, we stayed with Jennifer for a few days as she lives near Heathrow. The day before we left, a random conversation led to her looking at flights, booking a ticket for her and her best friend to fly to Bangkok to visit us during our first half-term and for her 46th birthday.

As the weeks drew closer and that pesky 1% started to really bug us (far more than they should have), we began looking forward to that little bit of home more and more.

The Friday night before they arrived we decided that we shouldn't try entertaining visitors with just a loaf of bread and 3 eggs in the fridge. We had long given up on buying actual, proper food here but if people are coming, you should at least try and pretend. So a quick trip to the supermarket later and the cupboards looked a little more respectable. I thoroughly hate shopping here. With regards to food: you either have to go to Tesco Lotus (I know; you travel thousands of miles and still you have to get your bread and milk from Tesco's-depressing) which is far too big and confusing or you have to go to Villa which is nice and small but clearly aimed at the mega-rich. We buy 4 items and some how have spent the equivalent of 20 quid! As for clothes shopping, if you want to give yourself a complex about your body then come to Thailand! I'm no small girl but I wouldn't call myself a hefalump either yet whenever I try anything on, I either can't fit my shoulders into it (who knew I had the shoulders of an American footballer) or I have the humiliating experience of having to ask for a XL or XXL! As for shoes, Thai shop assistants look horrified by the size of my feet! Bizarrely, J at 6'4'' doesn't appear to have these problems. Anyway, back to the main topic: Jen and Sharon.

So last Saturday morning, we arrive bright and early at the airport. Suvanabhumi airport isn't exactly user-friendly. However, after an hour's wait I see Jen and Sharon walking towards us. Back at our apartment, we are thrilled to find they have not only brought over the obligatory tea bags and cheese (you have no idea how expensive those items are here) but also Rich Tea, Digestives and Celebrations chocolates. I was practically wetting myself with excitement. Until now, I had wondered why J and I hadn't put on more weight since we eat more sugar and more fat here than we ever did in England. The biscuits, chocolates and cheese reminded me we eat far less food and definitely less junk now we're in Thailand. Please note that the 4 packets of biscuits and the huge tub of Celebrations only arrived 7 days ago and already there is only 1 packet of biscuits left. Oops...

After unpacking, we set off on what became the most activity packed 6 days I've ever done. We went to the Grand Palace (lots of gold and emeralds), an elephant centre (lots distinctly unhappy looking elephants; although I was particularly impressed with their footballing skills especially from the one dressed in the Rooney kit), the State tower (drinking coctails on the roof 64 floors up), the beach at Koh Samed (with 40 mozzy bites to prove it), eating at Cabbages & Condoms and doing lots and lots and lots and lots of shopping! I don't think I have shopped that much in my life(especially when you take into account what I outlined to you about my shopping experiences so far) but Jen and Sharon were clearly in their element! I think, however, the shopping slowly made J lose the will to live. It did something to him anyway as he had another 'unfortunate incident' with another electical appliance. This time, the phone has gone to rest in 'appliance heaven' after being cradled in J's pocket whilst he took a wee swim in the sea.

We had an amazing week with them and I really hope they enjoyed seeing us as much as we enjoyed having them come to stay. The only downside was that we are probably more homesick now than we were before and are actually really looking forward to coming home for a couple of weeks at Christmas. Only 7 weeks till then.

In the meantime, back to work tomorrow and a weekend in Krabi for my birthday in a couple of weeks. Will keep you posted. For now, back to work and trying to avoid the 1%.

I lost my songs down a Khao Yai waterfall

Not a translation of a popular Thai folk song translated into English with my newfound Thai interpretation skills but the reality of going up country and down waterfall with an ipod in your trouser pocket.

D and I went all 'Deliverance' again and attempted to tame nature until it unexpectedly fought back.

Many of the 'tachers' were off to the Khao Yai national park (where St Steve's sister school is) the following weekend to hike, play tennis, swap resources and talk shop about nailing kids for forgetting their Lacrosse sticks, but not for D and I- we were going all Burt Reynolds, sans 'tache, and Jon (how the hell did he produce such a cracking daughter) Voight again in the wilderness early. Seeing as D has a hairier chest than me and can recite all the lines from the 'Smokey and the Bandit' films and I have 'a real purty mouth' she got to be Burt and I was Voight.

Luckily things didn't get too macho and there were no potential male rapists (only Graham from Cornwall, where sodomy is a given) as we were aided by some familiar faces, daring Thai guys and a French character from the Tricolore French text books-

'Ou est Pierre?'

'Pierre est falling down a waterfall in Thailand!'

wasn't one of the usual grammar exercises one found in the '80s, but it fitted here.

We were told to prepare for something a little more daring than the last adventure, perhaps Corrin's translation skills aren't as perfect as we thought as none of us knew what was about to befall us:

1. A 70 foot drop without safety rope that the SAS would've been proud of and overhanging cliff into a lagoon just as it started raining

1a. A tree crashing down into the valley floor just after we'd departed

2. A short abseil down the middle of a slippy waterfall (where the ipod got ruined and because of the last harddrive refusing to work we can't reload them onto a new ipod!)

3. Lunch in a cave consisting of the tastiest chicken I've had in Thailand yet and some sticky rice

4. Another terrifying waterfall abseil where it was impossible to know which way was up and which way was down (see the video of Corrin in perhaps the scariest and most amusing thing I've seen in a long time holding his breath while decending like Mr Bean)

5. Fun on a Tarzan swing

6. A hike on your hands and knees down a fast flowing river which took about 3 hours!

7. A final mini abseil into a boat where you had to row your way to civilisation!

All this of course while being filmed by a Thai TV crew for Channel 7 TV- perhaps they'll name it 'When thick Farangs go bad' or something...

They seemed disappointed that none of us fell to our deaths I think- it would've boosted the viewing figures no doubt!

The canoeing on the Sunday was laughably tame in comparison.

It's a few quiet weekends now before our first visitors arrive for October half-term, sorry mid-term break, and we work out how to send some money home.

Laew phop gan mai

Stories of pictures of...

I know some of you can't read very well and because I seem to be tired all the time so often can't be bothered to type (although by the time I've finished reading this it seems it's the longest post in a long time)- I thought some pics might be more suitable for all of us.

A colleague, Paul, is a keen and skilled amateur photographer and has added some good pics to facebook from the first month or so and I'm sure he won't mind me sharing them- hey he won't even know unless my ego gets the better of me and I post a link from facebook.

Above is the sketching from D's first anniversary present for me (she had a cheap blow-up of Bearwood High Street in exchange but she didn't seem to mind...) from the rising artistic talent of Sheffield and one time HMV colleague and fellow Wednesday fanzine contributor Pete McKee. Hopefully it will grace the main wall in our apartment when we return to the UK to fetch it come Christmas. Hopefully my face will look less round in the finished version and D will begin to look black- but who knows...

Above that is one of Paul's shots from a recent lads only trip to Sukhumvit (a very touristcentric part of Bangkok that is also popular with expats) in Country Road II bar- not sure where the original Country Road is but I'm assured it's probably even more surreal. Here the Thais love of Country is shown for the first time in this post- you might be able to spot the Thai Country star on the stage- I particularly enjoyed the Beegees and Billy Joel medleys he diversified into (both artistes are a particular secret favourite of mine- especially the much maligned Mr Joel). All this while being served constant booze, club sandwiches and having pool balls racked by Thai bar ladies!

Higher still is the infamous Soi (alley) Cowboy, named after a GI post 'Nam who positioned this street as Bangkok's premier fleshpot for lots of belligerent and ignorant westerners to expoloit/be ripped off by up country Thai girls looking for Prince Charming. They're not likely to find him ala 'Pretty Woman' as the place is full of saddos and aggressive 'lads' who are happy to fuel the Thai image of western males. D and I have already realised that we're not fond of the expat areas like Sukhumvit and Silom. The prices are huge for everything that you have tried to forget about the west and the often boorish attitude of our 'kin' when juxtaposed next to the refined and pleasant Thai people is too much to take at times.

Rising up we have a strange shot of me at 'Winks' the local music bar come trendy HiSo teen/early 20s hangout in our area of Chatuchak, about half a mile up our road Pathon Yothin. Gary, the Head of English first introduced me to the place on our first working day and I think he's already started to regret it as he was at one time a bit of a novelty as the only Farang (foreigner) regular as it's just on the end of the soi where he lives- now all the St Steve's staff seem to be treating it as a local!

Not that the trendy young Thai things that co-own it would be thrilled with Gary's, D's or my UK credentials as it's just not in the nature of Thai people to ask you about life in the UK- they seemingly are happy to soak up, especially US and in this case UK culture. (the place is full of Beatles stuff, including DVDs of the Fab Four in the far east in the 60s and has a large display case full of action figures and curio alternative/retro items like 'Speak n spells') That particular night we were in, the band were playing a Ska set followed by Arctic Monkeys and Pulp downladed on a macbook by the DJ. Here was an opportunity to ask a Sheffielder with more than a passing knowledge about both Sheffield bands and a woman from the home of 2Tone everything they didn't know but the Thais just seem to regard you with mild curiosity (they certainly did when we were dancing later on- as far as I can see they are far too reserved to do anything other than bop in a stationary position)- and it's to their credit and my admiration.

Judging by my expression I'd had quite a few by this time (eventually we rolled in down Yothin at 5:30! unheard of since about 1994) and it seems that I'll have to find my drinking boots again as the expat culture and Thai for that matter is heavily into boozing. A few bottles followed by a whiskey and soda to share seems to be the novel way of joining in and it seems to work as the soda actually hydrates you along the way and stops the dreadful hangover in a tropical country the next day- or so the geeky Science teachers tell me.

Higher still is me on the speedboat taking us back from our first, and only so far, beach adventure. I can see the burnt patches of my ever decreasing hairline in this shot (I actually look like a young Peter Cushing here I think) but I look smug and contented and so I should do- we have a wonderful job, in a great city and have made some great new friends as quite a few of us are couples over here for similar reasons and have just been thrown together to live, work and play. It's not been easy at times, especially living and working with your better half, but on the whole everyone's been great and I think it shows on my face. Using facebook also reminds me just how priviliged we are to be here and enjoying weekends like this when most people are negotiating painter and decorators or watching their children take their first dump in a potty if their facebook statuses are anything to go by. Thank goodness D and I didn't smarm our way into a career in the UK. Although there's quite a few here that are trying so I guess the no nowt, thick as pigshit, talentless and charmless jobsworth is a universal figure of fun and frustration for normal folk.

There's a few of us karaokeing on a recent trip up country (I've detailed some of it in a lazy way in the previous post) The shot, I think is really professional and the depth Paul has got in this image is amazing. If I could be bothered I'd like to learn how- but in the meantime I'm happy to copy his pics and give him some occasional credit along with his wife Hannah and another couple, Andrea and Graham (there you go I know he reads this so will enjoy seeing his name in lights), who also like to use big cameras. We are learning Thai though so perhaps we are contributing to some of this proud country's culture in some way.

I digress though, karaoke is another import of course and like it's originator Japan, seems to have a massive effect on the Thai people. Often they're hesitant to do anything that is deemed a bit 'showing off' (like men going bare chested in the swimming pool or the dancing I was mentioning earlier) but are happy to humiliate themselves 'Endurance' style at the mic. In this pic we are giving it some western tuneage from the limited repetoire they had on their database- but it's clear they were happy when we had gone, such is the way they are proud of themselves and happy to make themselves look a bit, well, stupid with dreadful Country numbers and bubblegum uncatchy pop sung in Thai with dreadfully high-pitched voices.

We recently ventured to Chinatown in Bangkok and were met with an old man singing (badly) into a mic at 3pm in the afternoon in a very traditional mall with no-one listening- very surreal. It's also clear from the kids at school that Thais love this geek chic and not in a it's cool to be uncool way- more likely they appreciate someone when they're a bit of a loser as they're more likely to be self-deprecating. (although not in my experience- losers try way too hard to fit in and their easy going nature is generally on the surface due to the way they look and carry themselves) I guess it fits in with the Buddhist philosophy of humility being the way to enlightenment (or so Steven Seagal says, that great Buddhist philosopher...) although I'm not sure Thais are proper Buddhists and only seem to catch on to the fun stuff like Spirit Houses and the worthwhile stuff like not having to look at someones crusty feet.

Gary and I recently had a discussion how monks buying computer games and listening to ipods can't possibly make them proper monks either. Oh by the way the Thais aren't completely chilled out, perfect human beings- they do get very competetive when the bets come out at snooker etc.

The top two pics sum up my journey to find my drinking boots again 6 weeks in and again the Thais and their cheeky sense of humour in a parallel world of embarassment about the most normal things.

The glass of Singha looks like amber nectar but is in fact gut rot, especially in the mini draft towers that most bars do- the other local devil's urine Chang beer seems to go down much better but is an unregulated 6.5% and mostly much stronger which is why I and a few of my colleagues have collapsed, puked and shat their way into a few Saturday and Sunday mornings. The best bet seems to be paying an extra 20-40p for a bottle of Heineken or trying to source out 'Leo' another local fave- it certainly suits me to get on the whiskey and sodas asap if my body's going to hold out! We're trying to steer away from the boozing though and have recently took up the 'lot more difficult than I remembered' Badminton and will soon be away again on a rock climbing/abseiling weekend up country.

So until next time- sawadee krap.

Let's offroad!

Here are some more pictures of us on our latest adventure up country in Thailand.

White water rafting, 5 to a room sharing, blubber avoiding, fat kid taunting, quad biking, paint balling, karaokeing, drinking, ant busting and dreaming, sweaty football playing, high wiring, target shooting. (if only my English support group were reading this they'd soon pick up continuous verbs)

All for £30 each. Extreeeeeeme!

Pics courtesy of Andrea and Hannah most probably.

Moped capers!

Well, as J said, after an almost euphoric teaching week (believe me, going from what we left to what we have now-this is heaven!), we decided to go to the beach. The head of Primary organised a bit of a staff school trip to Koh Samed. Now I'm not one for big, jolly capers with school but the idea of 2 nights at a beach resort for about 20 quid each (that I didn't have to organise) seemed like a dream come true.

So after work on the Friday, after an hour and a half's wait for the bus, we boarded our mini bus and set off. We arrived some hours later to a waiting speed boat. At this point, in the dark, I was a bit nervous. Two and a bit days on a desert island with 20-odd other people you don't know brought visions of 'The Beach' and 'Lord of the Flies' springing to mind! The speed boat trip, which was so choppy I thought I'd dislocated my hip, didn't help. However, Samed was great. Small enough for a really good weekend break.

After a boozy Friday night (not us you understand-we merely observed!), we decided to spend Saturday on mopeds!

Samed was a funny old place. We rented 3 mopeds on one driving licence (mine) and paid 6 quid each for 24 hours-bargain.

I had very specifically informed J from days before that I wouldn't be getting on one of those things and I certainly wouldn't be under those road conditions. An hour later, I was perched on the back trying to look cool. And failing.

Was great fun though as we rode to the other end of the island and found a very swanky little beach resort. Bit too swanky for me in my mucky shorts and pyjama top (don't ask, long story). The sea was so warm it was like taking a hot bath. Just glorious.

After such a fab and relaxing day, it was a bit hairy taking the bikes back in the dark on the rather uneven roads. My hips, which had not recovered from the speed boat trip the day before, were further bashed about as the bike had no suspension. Despite this, I was having a grand old time and forgot (most of the time) that we were uninsured, had old bikes and no helmets. Wrong.

Anyway, while J leaves me to go on a school trip (with real kids this time; not overgrown ones) I am trying to find a fitness class. I'm a little bored at the gym so thought a class might juj things up a bit. Yesterday, I saw around 250 women doing a mass aerobic workout in the Tesco carpark. I was the only person who stood open-mouthed and paralysed at the sight so, I'm assuming, this is a regular occurance. Not for me I don't think...

No-one ever had it so good...

We are now a week into the new job and although it's early doors we both feel it's the best decision either of us have ever made.

The school is just amazing and every teacher seems to feel the same even 2/3 years into the job.

There really is nothing to dislike about it. (apart from the early start- up at 6am and in work at 7:05- kids to follow at 7:45!)

We have just returned from a great weekend in Ko Samet (about 3 hours from Bangkok) with 20 odd other teachers and it really was a pleasure to get up from work on a Monday morning for once.

The children, although extremely priviliged are simply delightful- friendly and enthusiastic- like a kind of throwback to a 50s boarder from those afternoon black and white films where the actors/kids looked about 30 or perhaps Asian extras from the latest Harry Potter film.

The facilities in the school are wonderful and it really feels good to have some enthuisiasm for the job again. I'm even enjoying marking books as I know it will be appreciated by the children who actually find it a necessity to improve all the time.

The two lessons off a day mean we are planning interesting lessons for once and we are happy to evidence all our planning as we are proud of what we are doing.

I'm off on a three day field trip in a fortnight to the ancient city of Ayutthaya and I'm actually looking forward to spending some time with the Y9 kids!

Would love to put some pics of the school but unfortunately some dodgy sites of live Championship football streaming have put pay to the laptop for a while.

In the meantime here is the official school website with their guided tour- that's me beaming and giving it some English teacher style in the third window on the left...

http://www.sis.edu/bangkok/photo-gallery.php

Bangkok-The city of the pink taxi

Unlike J, I haven't posted anything on here apart from the very first post. There are several reasons for this: having a complete lack of anything more to add to what J had already said, too much tele-watching and, ultimately, believing that I'd have plenty to say once we were here. That final point being absolutely true. I feel like I haven't shut up about this place since I got off the plane (I think I'm beginning to give J earache).

The last few days at Gladys Road were rather emotional. It's funny what saying goodbye to a few bricks can do to a woman. That topped with having to say goodbye to all my family and friends left me, well, a little nervous and shaken. However, coming to Bangkok has blown me away.

I had done no research of Bangkok before we got here. Absolutely none. Whilst J looked up street names, the culture and general Thai life, I did the ostrich trick and firmly kept my head stuck in the Birmingham sand. I read no posts. I looked at no pictures and generally did no preparation. Even on the plane over here, I chose to forgo reading the Bangkok guide book Jhad bought at the airport's WH Smiths and chose to read Julie Walters' autobiography instead. Immersed in Smethwick to the very last! The rationale behind all this was that I figured nothing was likely to prepare me for Bangkok and, therefore, research would either ensure panic or feed me misinformation. I came to the city completely blind.

Bangkok is amazing.

Reasons? It smells all the time. Well, actually stinks! Bangkok's air is heavy with the aroma of sewers, car fumes and cooking fat. Although this should bring on nausea, I actually really like it (not sure J would agree with me here!). I love the fact that there is bottle-neck traffic at 11pm at night. I love the fact there are shocking pink taxis!! I love the way Thais speak as though they are singing and that the shopping malls are always packed, although most people don't appear to buy anything apart from food (people after my own heart)!

The first few days here were a bit of a blur. However, we appear to have set up proper grown-up lives without realising it. I do keep forgetting that we are supposed to be working here and this isn't just an extended jolly. Everything is so exciting!

Inevitably, some things do bring you back down to Earth. Like being woken up at 5am by the 'Big Ben'esque chime of the 'Magical Kingdom' go-karting clock half a mile away. Or stepping over very flea-bitten, pitiful-looking, stray dogs just to get down the street. Or the shipping company sending your stuff to some port south of Bangkok and neglecting to tell you that in order to get it, you had to pay for it all over again! Please don't ask me about that one-I have been having nightmares about it and the urge to kill the shipping representative in Bristol is really strong...

Despite these very minor setbacks, we really do like it here. I absolutely love the apartment and cannot hide my excitement at being able to give my dirty washing to laundry owner Madam Gee (part colourful auntie, part Del-boy entrepreneur) and have it back the next day clean and ironed all for £2! Thank you Jesus!

Let's hope going back to work (which, let's face it, we've sort of forgotten how to do!) is as an enjoyable experience as our first impressions of Bangkok have been...