Half the world away (nearly)

I promised some exclusive pictures of packing cases and empty rooms and the like, so here they are.

I think we've managed to get around to see everyone and what fun it was too.

Speak soon, when we're half the world away...

Calendar for your cheap holiday in Bangkok

I'm sure I'll work out how to permanently pin this on the Blog eventually.

However, here is the definitive final draft of our school calendar for 2009/10.

http://www.sis.edu/bangkok/download-calendar.php

Check out this website: http://www.netflights.com/?refid=nfgb&partner=google&adgroup=Flights_Brand&googlekeyword=airline+network&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_term=airline

for cheap flights to BKK (thanks to Mr J. Coath and his Bangkok connections- say no more, wink wink, nudge, nudge etc)

You'll need to monitor it regularly to get the flights around £300 and book accordingly- don't worry about transfers from either Bangkok airport, we'll sort this- just bring your spending money!

Please let us know, via facebook, the blog or email (perhaps even in person or long handwriting on Basildon Bond paper for you oldies) when you'd like to come.

Apart from family, it's first come first served.

We are off on the weeks that are in purple, however, we won't be in BKK at Christmas 2009.

Folks are welcome when we're not there or if we're at work (don't all cheer and plump for these weeks either...)

Hope to see you there.

J and D
X

One doth journey south?

Journeying south has always brought me a lot of pleasure...

It's something I also try to keep quiet. (shhhhhhhhhh...)

Most northerners would like to pretend that, despite the concentration of the nation's wealth being unfairly proportioned in the south east, (this wealth built up by the industrial north and the midlands- with a bit of slave trading from Brizzle and Liddypool) we don't like, want anything to do with and would prefer to not mention- that London and anything to do with the ridiculously named Blandshire and Forgetthenamesex provinces around it!

Alan Partridge spells London, S.H.I.T.H.O.L.E with any train stopping on the way at: '...Disappointment, Backstabbing Central and Shattered Dreams Parkway...' (but he's from the carrot crunching capital of Nowheresville that is Norfolk- so what does he know!)

The slow but effectively cheap Chiltern Railway from Birmingham's Snow Hill station passes these places but secretly I and everyone else north of Watford always get quite excited when we recognise certain landmarks and the distinctive orange brickwork of suburban London as it comes into view.

See Larkin's poem 'The Whitsun Weddings' for a perfect literary example of what I mean. It might be me reaching middle age (there's no use denying it) but this is quintessentially what middle England is all about: heritage, nostalgia and sometimes mythical and real England that might have existed at some time when I wasn't yet in double figures- something that sadly might never return despite which political party you might vote for...

No plastic and artificial representation of culture in 21st century Britain in the shapes of super concerts by Blur, Springsteen or Take That, Rugby buggering of South Africa or glimpses of the new Wembley and Gay Pride can ever really make up for what has gone before and happily still remains in memory, perception and bricks and mortar in this part of the world.

However, I digress, we don't want to tell anyone but we (Professional Northerners and the like) get a bit giddy when we arrive in, especially on days like Friday 3rd with the glorious weather, our nation's capital.

We had a great weekend thanks to Parv and Jas in Harrow on the Friday and Rebecca and Lucy on the Saturday ably assisted by Row and Glenn. Visiting places that we've never been before: Harrow boys' school (the application is in the post) the Millennium bridge swinging and great views over London on the only day I've ever been when it rivals, aesthetically, any city in the world (I agree with Wordsworth here "Earth has not anything to show more fair..."), drinks on the Thames (£1 for a bag of crisps!) and staying in an exclusive, private W1 address for the first time ever...(no Travel Lodge this time...)

Saturday night out in Notting Hill and hearing about Madonna at the O2 at Marylebone station on Sunday morning from Niki and Sean.

Sadly no celebrity spotting this time to recall (how could Fisher from Home and Away ever be bettered in one of my first visits anyway) but lots of good memories of real people (great Londoners like Parv, Jas, Lucy, Rebecca, Glenn and Row and fuckwitted ones like the drunken weirdy-beardy who nearly got a Stannington kiss for his troubles) as we move from one great city to the next one halfway across the world and hopefully meet lots of new great friends from another great world capital.

And my ailments (like a visit to a spa town), seemingly clearing up. (see the last blog post) It must be all that pollution- roll on BKK and more black bogeys!

Poorly...

We realise fans in the south will be extremely disappointed but Bangkok Booths must regretfully announce the cancellation of their forthcoming concerts in the south of England!

Due to J's horrific dietary problems over the last week, he's been advised to rest to enable a smooth transition to Bangkok on the 24/7...

Hopefully he will have made a full recovery in time to visit the Sheffield lot on the 18-19/7 but if not will si' thee in December.

Meanwhile D, wife and full time nurse, will endeavour to perform solo on 3-5 July in the London area!

Into the west

The second leg of the BB tour began on 3rd June as D and I ventured down in the west country my lovelies.

Now we're without transport it was an opportunity to 'let the train take the strain' as someone used to say. We weren't disappointed either as the journey was excellent- as was the weather (in fact a little too much as I suffered some serious burnage).

Whether it was walking from Port Isaac (currently filming another series of Doc Martin, without special guest appearances by the family this time) into Polzeath on the Thursday or a day out in Truro on the Saturday it was a really enjoyable last look at this place for a while.

The famous/infamous Royal Cornwall Show was another thing altogether...

We missed out Bristol/Cardiff on the way home as we needed to get home and we're now looking forward to a few weeks in Brum and those endless scripts, box packing and counting down the days...

Next stop, Darn Sarf!

Farewell to the north

D and I finally embarked on the farewell tour last Friday and had a great week in the beautiful north. We stayed in a few grotty establishments on our trip as, of course, we are now a lord and lady of leisure and our budget didn't stretch to anything more than 3* (and plenty weren't 1* but never mind)- a few though were very good and great value for money.

The purpose of the trip was three fold really: to say goodbye to a few friends, to visit places that D had never been to (and I in the case of Glasgow and Barrow) and to avoid going stir crazy in our slowly depleting home in Brum.

We realised once we were on the M6 that we'd left the map- so with only a few poor AA directions for some of the places and certainly no SATNAV (pah!... not for real car drivers) we carried on regardless.

Preston started off pretty dismally as Jez was unable to meet up as he had double booked us with a wedding in Malta! Still, we enjoyed visiting his hostelry on the River Ribble and what a fine job he has made of this former popular family pub- The New Continental- (drop by if you're around this great little town-sadly the wrong side of the Pennines...) We arrived at 12 noon and already people were flocking in for the food and real ales on a Friday afternoon.

On to Blackpool, which seems to fade further into oblivion (if not the sea sadly- only joking) every time I visit. Sadly the weather was garbage, everything was closed including the tower and pleasure beach and the people there looked as though they were doing community service rather than bein on t'olidays. The seafront hotel was nasty too- with pissed up lads arriving at all hours of the morning- disturbing my beauty sleep!

On to the proper north west and the lake district. A nice day in Windermere and then onto Matt and Rosie's in Barrow-in-Furness. We had a great time- highlights being the first pizza in a long time (thanks to weight watchers) and listening to Matt and Rosie's new album- April Maybe May- buy it now! (On itunes soon I think...?)

The long drive to Glasgow wasn't quite as long as I imagined and we made good time in 2.5 hours. A few arguments along the way and we eventually found Rutherglen and the Kings Park hotel (which was the best hotel in value for money terms I've ever stayed at, despite the long drive into the city centre). On the way we spotted celebrating Rangers fans outside the funny little low-level shop style pubs that are scattered around Glasgow and despite never being able to tune into 5Live in the Bora, we realised there had been a major upset in the SPL on the final sunday of the Scottish season.

As we arrived we saw some low-level sectarian shite and I suppose not much different to the Sheffield rivalry really (except you realise how many generations of hatred really exists even in this PC world we now live in) as ridiculously drunken 'Gers fans taunted the Bhoys going out of the city on coaches.

My own personal feeling is that both are great clubs and even though I should favour Rangers, being English and christened in the Church of England, the leftie in me has always despised the boorish, bigoted nature of the Protestant Rangers fans and have always favoured Celtic- plus they have a cool kit!

We just managed to detour around the celebrations at Ibrox and made our way into the city centre- through the Gorbals area- realising that football in Glasgow certainly isn't geographical as this famously Celtic/Irish area did have a few hooped fans drowning their sorrows in one pub but had a few rowdy Rangers supporters literally down the road! This could never happen in Sheffield so blatantly...thankfully. (two Catholic Celtic fans were killed in Glasgow on this Sunday night and one I think in Belfast, although the local police were trying to play down the incidents as non-football/sectarian based, it seemed too much of a tragic coincidence)

Once in the city centre yet more drunken fools living up to the ginger simpleton image and YES, even families of Rangers fans stumbling around with Union flags and taunting anyone they thought could be Celtic! Very bizarre. We nipped into see Carl, but unfortunately he was poorly but it was good to see him again and then back out into the strange Sunday bank holiday public of Glasgow.

I must say, despite the football issues and the bank holiday, Glasgow, although pretty enough with its Georgian buildings and grand city centre, is a miserable and uninviting place. Far too scabby around the edges- that's if you can negotiate the suburbs with no road signs and a outdated 19th century street system- social deprivation aplenty and a bleakness that comes with the harsh climate and the lack of prospects that rivals even Sheffield. Yes there are leafy affluent parts (just like Sheffield) but on the whole I wasn't a fan in my brief time here...sorry.

'On top of Calton Hill, Edinburgh, May 2009'

Edinburgh on the other hand was just as beautiful as I remembered and is possibly the most striking city in the whole of Britain! I've never been to Belfast though I must admit but I doubt it's a patch on here. A great bank holiday monday and then back to Glasgow- again getting lost in the suburbs but managing to venture through the famous Govan district, which unlike the Gorbals (which was just a landscape of grim council flats, demloished piles of concrete and attrociously potholed new dual carriage ways), has managed to retain some of its original features.

At least I can now say I've been and survived some of the so-called scariest parts of Britain crime wise from all the major cities in Britain and plenty around the world (seriously never as bad as the media makes out) with these two areas of Glasgow.

We were off on the Tuesday and back east the 40 miles to Edinburgh (looks less on the map!) so we could begin at the top of the A1 and make our way down this delightful stretch of coastline to Northumberland and finally Tyneside.

Now, without trying to upset the people of Geordieland and their beloved city- I've never been a fan of this part of the world- purely because, tucked away away from everyone and with big chips on their shoulders, the Geordies often come across as quite arrogant tossers. It was strange to be there after Newcastle had been relegated as there wasn't the same amount of the 'Why aye man' swagger that I'd noticed before.

We were staying in South Shields in a room above a pub- which was a first for me! I personally felt like we were proper travelling musicians or summat- rather than lazy swines on a pretend farewell tour! This is distinctly a Sunderland area (North Shields across the mouth of the Tyne being more Newcastle) so the people were a little more buoyant and their accents a little more sing songy and less harsh to a cunning linguist like me! I've always favoured the Mackems anyhow- a little like Kiwis are as opposed to the Aussie-like Geordies!

We caught the excellent Metro system into Newcastle, as despite my preference to all things red and white (only in the north east) I wasn't about to put D through a day out in Sunderland- which probably makes Barnsley look like Venice!

I must say I was more impressed with Newcastle this day than any other time I've ever been- possibly because this was the first time I wasn't accompanied by an irritating Geordie telling me how great it is. The Quayside area is fantastic with the three new attractions (funded by Gateshead not Newcastle of course) of the footbridge, Sage and (free, yes, free...) Baltic arts space.

'Newcastle Quayside, May 2009'

It made me sad that Sheffield can't get its act together and 'do its self up' even more with its close proximity to possibly the best countryside in the UK in the Peak district (and I should know after travelling through all the other northern national parks this last week and still thinking Derbyshire is best) and the natural rolling seven hills of Sheffield offering a natural landscape and village feel that could easily be utilised in the same way that Newcastle's Tyne and bridges are.

Still, if it makes Sheffield 'up its own arse' in the way Newcastle and places like Leeds are with their often desperate 'we're just as important as that London tha' knows man' are then I'd prefer us to stay 'undiscovered' boring and humble like big brother Brum is too.

We were up again early on Wednesday, and despite the pub downstairs being empty(??) we let ourselves out, without a cooked breakfast (probably a good thing considering it would've been my fourth that week and I was supposed to be still 'weight watching') and the short distance to Whitby (full of Geordies and Smoggies (Middlesbrough) very briefly and into the much improved Scarborough and back in Yorkshire. At this early part of the season it felt like Scarborough of yesteryear that I remember. I went every summer to nearby Cayton Bay as a lad and despite the traumatising effect of seeing Marvels theme park, the outdoor water park and open air theatre in ruins (some of my happiest memories ever spent in these places and another reason why I'm glad we're leaving this dismal country) the place seems to have moved up a notch back towards the UKs premier seaside town.

In the evening we were staying in York as I had the exam marking meeting the next day. Eventually we found our completely overpriced hotel 'Saxon House' through D's idea of buying a tourist's street map from one of those machines (ingenious as well as beautiful- I am lucky!)

D spent Thursday shopping as only she knows how and I spent the best day of the trip locked away in a tudor college debating the quality of answers of George and Lennie's dream with a bloke I hoped I'd never have to see again! Ooh it's a hard life...

Three hours through the rush hour traffic from York to Brum was great going and a few days rest before we embark on the west country part of the tour.

Well 912 miles later and we're still going. The longest farewell tour since The Stones some have said... James even offering to drive us to the airport early if we'd just leave... Well you don't get rid of us that early!

Either the scales are playing up or I've found the best diet ever as it seems I've lost weight on returning- maybe northern air, fry-ups and much walking is the way forward for the new weight loss plan...

The Farewell Tour Continues... Bangkok Booths or Bust...

Following the highly successful northern dates on Bangkok Booths farewell tour, Lethargy and Idleitis tours is pleased to announce the southern and west country dates:

Wednesday June 3rd-Sun June 7th- Cornwall

Monday June 8th- Bristol/Cardiff

Saturday 4th/Sunday 5th July- Hayes/London

Monday 6th-Sunday 12th July- London/Rochester (Possible secret gig in France)

Book now to guarantee disappointment...